The Millennials Who Met and Married From TikTok

It’s one thing to optimistically list your hobbies and interests on an online dating profile. It’s quite another to end up in a lip-sync duet your favorite song with your future husband on the Internet.

That, however, is Leah and Erik Grogan’s story. When they met among the scrollers on TikTok, they entered a cohort of couples who found another use for the platform.

Studies have shown that young people are more dissatisfied with traditional dating apps and their associated pitfalls, from lying and ghosting to algorithms that require premium subscriptions to improve. In this milieu of misses, TikTok seems to be quietly emerging as a surprising matchmaker.

Newsweek spoke to couples who met on the app and found love in an unexpected place.

Shared Grief and Age Gaps Created a Bond

Some on TikTok find the “storytime” trend, in which people share life experiences that range from hilarious to heartfelt, a more compelling feature for meeting others.

This is how Claire Taylor, 37, and Tami Haukedahl, 65, a couple living in Alabama and Illinois, connected over Claire’s videos about her experience of grief.

“I found Claire’s page about an age gap relationship Claire had been in where the older partner had passed away,” Tami told Newsweek. “Once we were mutual friends…Claire sent me a direct message. It started by her saying that I reminded her of her older partner.”

“I just wanted to say hello and that you are beautiful. You remind me of my first love,” Claire’s first message to Tami read. “I assure you it is a high compliment.”

Tami replied, saying she had seen Claire’s videos about her late partner and found them a “beautiful tribute.”

“Claire had been showing up on my for you page for a few months, and I thought she was absolutely beautiful,” Tami said. “I was instantly drawn to her.”

The duo built a foundation of friendship for their eventual relationship in the two-and-a-half months between their first message and first in-person date. It began with Tami asking Claire “Would you rather?” questions every morning. Soon, the couple were video calling for more than eight hours every day.

Eventually, Claire flew from Alabama to Chicago to visit Tami, and the rest, as they say, is history.

“We knew when we saw each other that the love had transcended the TikTok messages and telephone calls,” Tami said. “We had the big chemistry in person, so we knew at that point we would be together. Four months later, we moved in together.”

The couple got engaged in September 2023.

‘The Lion King’ Led to Marriage and Kids

Leah and Erik Grogan, 30 and 33, respectively, came across each other several years ago, and their lives haven’t been the same since.

“I was scrolling, and a video of him lip-syncing to a Lion King/The Greatest Showman mashup came across my [For You Page]. I love both of these movies, and he was insanely cute, so I duetted the video,” Leah told Newsweek.

Erik commented on the video, writing, “You are so d*** smooth,” and then private messaged her asking for help with another TikTok he wanted to make. “Erik is deaf in one ear and couldn’t make out the sound and asked if I could help,” Leah said. “I did, and we kept talking after that for hours.”

Leah said the pair were texting and video calling “constantly” for three weeks before they both happened to have a break from work at the same time. Erik flew from Arizona to New York to meet Leah a month after they began talking during the COVID-19 lockdown in 2020.

“I always make the joke that he flew in to meet me and just never left,” Leah said. “Immediately after he flew to meet me, I flew back with him to his hometown and met his mother. It was an instant connection, and we both knew it.”

The couple continued in a long-distance relationship before Erik decided to move to New York permanently to be with Leah.

The couple got engaged in March 2021, then got married and welcomed a daughter the following year.

What’s different from online dating?

Dr. Deborah Gilman, owner and licensed psychologist at Fox Chapel Psychological Services, told Newsweek that TikTok has a unique ability to foster quick, meaningful connections.

“The interactive features of TikTok, such as likes, comments, and duets, provide users with opportunities for immediate feedback and social validation,” Dr. Gilman said. “From a psychological perspective, this real-time engagement can foster a sense of connection and belonging.”

She said that the pandemic’s isolating effects, combined with the platform’s emphasis on authenticity and creativity, allowed people to connect more closely and dynamically than on other dating apps.

“By allowing individuals to express themselves freely, TikTok creates opportunities for meaningful interactions and emotional intimacy to develop organically,” she said.

However, Dr. Gilman also warned of some potential drawbacks.

Privacy and safety concerns, including a lack of background information about the potential partner, are paramount, she said.

“The limited information available through TikTok videos may lead to uncertainty and ambiguity in the early stages of dating,” she said. “Individuals may rely more on assumptions and first impressions, increasing the likelihood of misunderstandings or misinterpretations.”

Want to go beyond the scroll? Couples share tips

The couples Newsweek spoke to have certainly found meaningful connections on the platform.

“Meeting on TikTok…I got a sense for how sentimental, thoughtful and caring Claire was,” Tami said. Dating apps are flat: a photo with profile information. TikTok is a more three-dimensional version of the person.”

How, then, can people find their own authentic, creative love of their life?

Claire and Tami said users should try to put themselves out there in at least one TikTok.

“People are joining every day…search topics you’re interested in where, in turn, you’ll find your niche and other people who share the same interests,” Claire said.

For Leah and Erik, it’s all about keeping an open mind.

“Be willing to explore connections with people who may not fit your initial criteria,” Leah said. “Love can come from unexpected places.”

This post was originally published on this site