“I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Colbert said on Monday.
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Make Women Great Again
Former President Donald Trump made several comments about women over the weekend, vowing that under his presidency, he would “protect women at a level never seen before,” saying they would be “healthy, hopeful, safe and secure.”
“I‘m not sure if he’s running for president or marketing a new brand of tampon,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday.
“[imitating Trump] Women will be safe, secure — they’ll be safe, secure and unscented. I will install all my judges with a comfort glide applicator. Vote for me, or there will be heavy days. I’m talking about, your friends will be riding bikes and laughing in the pool, and you’re going to be sitting by yourself, dealing with that cup of blue juice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“During a rally on Saturday in North Carolina, former President Trump spoke about his agenda for women and said, ‘Let’s talk about our great women, all right? Because women have gone through a lot.’ And I assume he’s speaking from experience.” — SETH MEYERS
“In a post over the weekend on Truth Social, former President Trump said that if he is elected, ‘Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free.’ So now JD Vance is undecided.” — SETH MEYERS
“‘Women are poorer than they were four years ago, are less healthy than they were four years ago, are less safe on the streets than they were four years ago, are more depressed and unhappy than they were four years ago, and are less optimistic and confident in the future than they were four years ago! I will fix all of that, and fast, and at long last this national nightmare will be over.’ This reads like a suicide pact.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“[imitating Trump] Their lives will be happy, beautiful, and great again — and if you don’t believe it, ask my wife Melania, who every night prays I drive my golf cart into a lagoon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
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